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LADYTRAN.DOC
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1988-07-31
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117 lines
Transition of a Lady
by
Rainbow T'Pyr
sometimes this life is too transient.
love comes and goes
never really settling in.
even years of knowing a person is not enough.
traveling.
moving.
transient.
life does not slow down.
* * * * *
back on earth, i am alone.
no hubbub, no engine hum in the background.
no hassle to speak of.
me, my books and the alarm clock.
it's just too damned quiet.
* * * * *
a field study, half-done.
so like me, these days.
everything seems half done.
i have been in space too long.
here i am, home, yet
totally out of my element.
half here, half there.
nothing gets done to my satisfaction.
patch it up,
make do.
i am a perfectionist wearing
kindergarten overalls.
* * * * *
the earth shakes. it disturbs me greatly.
it is too natural, too awesome.
i am more familiar with quasars and infinity.
that is small enough for me to grapple with.
* * * * *
is life really passing by so quickly, one full year already?
halfway to my goal yet so far from myself?
so much to do, so little time, so little of me to do it.
i have my assignment already. i am expected.
will i be ready?
* * * * *
this is so unexpected, a one night stand.
i thought i was well beyond that type of passion.
i have been too used to sleeping in a single bunk.
alone.
even the fantasies had faded.
damn. i bet he's half my age. how could i be so foolish.
working with halves again.
how will i say goodbye in the morning
without sounding like a brassy bitch?
double damn. i have an oral exam in the morning.
in front of the peer review board.
how will i keep this silly cockeyed grin off my face.
really, a one night stand!
* * * * *
my boy has been quite a man.
much more than that one night stand, much dearer.
but my task is accomplished here.
so i ask,
hold me warm and secure, just for now.
a little longer.
when i am gone, when i am again among the stars
you will see that the only place and age that matters
is the sharing space of our hearts.
* * * * *
i'll write you. there's another myth.
i am ready to leave.
i was just getting used to it here,
again.
* * * * *
another milestone in my life passed, unnoticed.
so i had thought.
until i heard a yeoman's word of welcome.
so standard, so formal, it said all.
a time honored sentence with one difference for me.
"permission to come aboard." "granted, doctor."
* * * * *
yes, i have been in space too long.
too many placespeoplethings lost and not quite forgotten...
here is my single bunk, a cubicle barely nine by nine.
yet, it has all the room of centuries.
my own office.
my own post.
my own title.
i have been in space too long.
i did not like the anchor i grew on land.
i have been a woman in space too long, perhaps.
god help me,
i love it.
* * * * * * *